


polyam gallifreyan founder rights aka the TRUE story of how gallifrey lost fertility privileges

by haha_looms



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Looms, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Other, anyways enjoy, i am. so so sorry, i'd love to say i regret writing this but. uh.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27017596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haha_looms/pseuds/haha_looms
Summary: marc platt dni
Relationships: Omega/Rassilon (Doctor Who), Rassilon/Omega/The Other (Doctor Who), The Other/Patience (Doctor Who), The Other/Rassilon (Doctor Who)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	polyam gallifreyan founder rights aka the TRUE story of how gallifrey lost fertility privileges

“Patience, dear,” said the Other to his wife, “I won’t be home for dinner tonight. Rassilon says it’s urgent.”

“Does he now?” Patience smirked. She knew full well the exact nature of Rassilon’s relationship with her husband, and Omega too. She didn’t much care either. The Other had three hands, after all. Well, two, but Omega was always more than willing to lend an extra.

Of course, the Other, being an idiot, was not aware that Patience knew all this. Which was honestly quite impressive, given the number of times she had accidentally walked in on him and the others.

“Erm, yes.” The Other scratched the back of his neck. “I’ll be going now.”  
“Bye, love.” Patience waved.

He stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

Patience counted:  _ Three, Two, One- _

The front door opened again. 

“Sorry!” said her husband. “Forgot something.”

Patience smirked again.

“You’re very pretty when you do that, you know,” said the Other. 

Patience giggled. “Stoooppp. Go to your secret meeting or whatever,” she said, leaning in and kissing his cheek. The Other grinned, kissed her, put on an atrocious yellow hat, and stepped back out the door.

\-----

“Hullo? Lord Rassilon? You there? Omeg- oh.”

The two were entwined in a very passionate kiss, and clearly neither of them had seen the Other come in.

The Other cleared his throat. 

“Oh! Hey, baby,” said Rassilon, pulling away. “I hate that color on you.”

The Other frowned, taking off his hat. “Really? I thought it was nice.”

“No, it’s awful. You Patrexes’ll say you’re concerned with aesthetics, or ‘fashion design is my passion’ or whatever and then turn around and wear whatever the fuck  _ that _ is,” said Rassilon, smoothing out his red and orange robes with one hand and pointing to The Hat™ with the other.

“I’ve never said ‘fashion design is my passion.’”

“Oh? Must be misremembering then. Hm.”

“Anyways, why did you call me here? You said it was urgent, so did somebody, like, die or are you just really fucking horny again?”

“Ah. Um, you might want to sit down first. Can I pour you some ginger tea?” offered Rassilon.

“No, thank you. I don’t drink.” The Other settled on the maroon couch on the left side of Rassilon.

“I’ll just leave the pot here in case you change your mind, shall I?”

“Sure.”

“So.” Rassilon sat back on the couch right between Omega and the Other.

“So,” said the Other.

“You’re squishing my thigh, Rassilon,” said Omega.

“Sorry.” Rassilon sat on his lap.

“Thank you. Continue.”

Rassilon took a deep breath. “So. I’m pregnant. And you’re both the father.”

“Bro what.”

“How does that even work?” wondered Omega.

“I don’t know, babe. This is fanfiction. Anything’s possible.”

“Um. What’re you going to do about it?” asked the Other.

Rassilon scratched his chin. “I dunno. I have, like, zero pain tolerance so I’d prefer to Not give birth.”

“Get an abortion, then,” said the Other.

“No that’s too easy. Wait.”

Omega turned to him. “What?”

“I have the most epic plan.” Rassilon rubbed his hands together.

“Yeah?”

“You know that uuhhh Pythia chick?”

Omega shook his head.

“Sorceress bitch. We could have her stage a whole curse thing.”

“I’m going to need you to elaborate a bit,” said the Other

“Pythia. Have her curse Gallifrey. Everyone becomes infertile. I lose the pregnancy, tragically. Everyone is sad for me. Everyone is happy that there are no more babies because babies fuckin suck. I get you guys to invent something that lets our species reproduce without pregnancy. I take credit for it. Everyone loves me, they throw a parade, etcetera.”

“Hm. Personally, I think that’s a horrible idea.”

“Shut up, Omega.”

Omega shrugged. “Just saying.”

“Whoa. That’s A Lot,” said the Other, pouring himself a cup of tea. He took a sip. “I’d expect no less from you, Lord Rassilon.”

“Thank you, darling.”

“I mean, it’s all a bit dramatic.”

“Thank you.”  
The Other chugged the rest of the tea and pocketed the pot. Standing up, he said, “If that’s all, I have to go.”

“So soon?” Rassilon raised an eyebrow. “Come on. Stay awhile.”

“Well. I suppose the Flat Gallifrey Society could go one meeting without me…” The Other bit his lip. “Um.”

Then they all fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this won't update til i finish cat's cradle: time's crucible, cold fusion, and the infinity doctors bc i'm not gonna contradict canon in MY rassilon mpreg fic >:/

**Author's Note:**

> to be continued....


End file.
